Part Three Chapter X

XParminder spirted late on Monday evenings, and as Vikram was usually at the hospital, the lead Jawanda children laid the table and cooked for themselves. Sometimes they squabbled occasionally they had a laugh save today, each was absorbed in their own particular thoughts, and the job was accomplished with unusual efficiency in n head silence.Sukhvinder had non told her brother or her sister that she had tried to truant, or close to Krystal Weedons threat to beat her up. The clothes of secrecy was very strong in her these days. She was actively frightened of transport let outnces, because she feared that they might betray the population of oddness that lived inside her, the world that Fats mole dupemed able to penetrate with such terrifying ease. All the same, she knew that the events of the day could not be kept quiet indefinitely. Tessa had told her that she intended to telephone Parminder.Im going to sustain to war cry your mum, Sukhvinder, its what we always do, har dly Im going to explain to her why you did it.Sukhvinder had mat up almost warm towards Tessa, even though she was Fats Walls bewilder. Frightened though she was of her mothers reaction, a tiny little glow of go for had kindled inside her at the thought of Tessa interceding for her. Would the realization of Sukhvinders desperation lead, at last, to some crack in her mothers implacable disapproval, her disappointment, her endless stone-faced criticism?When the front doorsill opened at last, she identifyd her mother speaking Punjabi.Oh, not the bloody produce once more, groaned Jaswant, who had cocked an ear to the door.The Jawandas owned a patch of ancestral land in the Punjab, which Parminder, the oldest, had acquire from their father in the absence of sons. The farm occupied a order in the family consciousness that Jaswant and Sukhvinder had sometimes discussed. To their slightly amused astonishment, a fewer of their older relatives seemed to live in the deliveration that the whole family would move behind there one day. Parminders father had sent money back to the farm all his life. It was tenanted and worked by second cousins, who seemed surly and embittered. The farm caused symmetric arguments among her mothers family.Nanis gone off on one again, interpreted Jaswant, as Parminders muted voice penetrated the door.Parminder had taught her first-born some Punjabi, and Jaz had picked up a lot more from their cousins. Sukhvinders dyslexia had been as well as severe to enable her to learn two languages and the attempt had been abandoned. Harpreet still wants to contend off that bit for the road Sukhvinder hear Parminder kicking off her shoes. She wished that her mother had not been bothered just about the farm tonight of all nights it never put her into a good mood and when Parminder pushed open the kitchen door and she precept her mothers tight mask-like face, her courage failed her completely.Parminder acknowledged Jaswant and Rajpal with a sl ight wave of her hand, barely she pointed at Sukhvinder and and so towards a kitchen control, indicating that she was to sit down and wait for the call to end.Jaswant and Rajpal drifted back upstairs. Sukhvinder waited beneath the wall of photographs, in which her relative inadequacy was displayed for the world to see, pinned to her chair by her mothers silent command. On and on went the call, until at bulky last Parminder said goodbye and cut the connection.When she turned to look at her daughter Sukhvinder knew, instantly, before a word was spoken, that she had been wrong to hope.So, said Parminder. I had a call from Tessa while I was at work. I expect you know what it was about.Sukhvinder nodded. Her mouth seemed to be full of cotton wool.Parminders rage crashed everywhere her like a tidal wave, dragging Sukhvinder with it, so that she was unable to have her feet or right herself.Why? Why? Is this copying the London girl, again are you trying to impress her? Jaz and Raj ne ver behave like this, never why do you? Whats wrong with you? argon you proud of being trifling and sloppy? Do you think its cool to act like a delinquent? How do you think I felt when Tessa told me? Called at work Ive never been so ashamed Im disgusted by you, do you hear me? Do we not give you enough? Do we not overhaul you enough? What is wrong with you, Sukhvinder?In desperation, Sukhvinder tried to break through her mothers tirade, and mentioned the fig Krystal Weedon Krystal Weedon shouted Parminder. That stupid girl Why are you paying circumspection to anything she says? Did you classify her I tried to keep her damn great-grandmother alive? Did you tell her that?I no If youre going to care about what the likes of Krystal Weedon says, theres no hope for you Perhaps thats your natural level, is it, Sukhvinder? You want to play truant and work in a cafe and waste all your opportunities for education, because thats easier? Is that what being in a team with Krystal Weedo n taught you to sink to her level?Sukhvinder thought of Krystal and her gang, raring to go on the oppo grade kerb, waiting for a break in the cars. What would it contemplate to pay back her mother understand? An hour ago she had had the tiniest fantasy that she might confide in her mother, at last, about Fats Wall Get out of my visual sense Go Ill speak to your father when he comes in goSukhvinder walked upstairs. Jaswant called from her sleeping room What was all that shouting about?Sukhvinder did not answer. She proceeded to her own room, where she closed the door and sat down on the edge of her bed.Whats wrong with you, Sukhvinder?You disgust me.Are you proud of being lazy and sloppy?What had she expected? Warm shape arms and teething ring? When had she ever been hugged and held by Parminder? There was more comfort to be had from the razor blade hidden in her stuffed rabbit but the desire, mounting to a need, to cut and bleed, could not be satisfied by daylight, with the f amily awake and her father on his way.The dark lake of desperation and pain that lived in Sukhvinder and yearned for release was in flames, as if it had been fuel all along.Let her see how it feels.She got up, crossed her bedroom in a few strides, and dropping into the chair by her desk, pounded at the keyboard of her computer.Sukhvinder had been just as interested as Andrew determine when that stupid supply teacher had tried to impress them with his cool in computing. Unlike Andrew and a couple of the other boys, Sukhvinder had not plied the teacher with questions about the hacking she had merely gone home quietly and looked it all up online. nigh every modern website was proof against a classic SQL injection, but when Sukhvinder had heard her mother discussing the anonymous attack on the Pagford Parish Council website, it had occurred to Sukhvinder that the security on that faint old site was probably minimal.Sukhvinder always found it much easier to quality than to write, and computer code easier to read than long strings of words. It did not take very long for her to retrieve a site that gave explicit book of instructions for the simplest form of SQL injection. Then she brought up the Parish Council website.It took her five minutes to hack the site, and then only because she had transcribed the code wrong the first time. To her astonishment, she discovered that whoever was administering the site had not removed the user details of The_Ghost_of_Barry_Fairbrother from the database, but merely deleted the post. It would be childs play, therefore, to post in the same name.It took Sukhvinder much longer to compose the pass on than it had to hack into the site. She had carried the secret accusation with her for months, ever since New Years Eve, when she had noticed with honor her mothers face, at ten to midnight, from the corner of the party where she was hiding. She typed slowly. Autocorrect helped with her spelling.She was not afraid that Parminder woul d bankrupt her computer history her mother knew so little about her, and about what went on in this bedroom, that she would never suspect her lazy, stupid, sloppy daughter.Sukhvinder pressed the nobble like a trigger.